How I Turned Into A Grumpy Snow Hermit

As I write this, we’re facing a weather forecast that calls for about a zillion inches of snow, and I find myself dreading it. Thinking about that feeling makes me realize that I’ve turned into a grumpy snow hermit — someone who just wants to stay inside and hope it all goes away. But I wasn’t always that way.

We can all look back on a childhood of having fun with snow, hoping for a blizzard to close school and then playing with sleds and building snowmen (or having snowball fights). But I can also remember enjoying snow even as an adult. When I was young and strong I wasn’t particularly bothered by the prospect of dealing with snow, whether that entailed shoveling it or driving in it. And I always enjoyed just watching a heavy snow falling, covering the ground in a thick and silent blanket.

But during all those years it never occurred to me that geezerhood would change my feelings so much. I knew that it would be a bad idea to shovel snow as I grew older — everybody knows that — but there’s also the added expense of hiring someone to do it. And I don’t want to even step outside because it’s difficult for me to walk in it — hell, I totter when I’m  on dry ground. But what makes me most nervous is the way the power lines in our area seem to come crashing down every time there’s a big snow. A geezer without electricity is a desperate critter — he might even be forced to venture out of his cave.

Dean Martin – “Let It Snow!”